The city seems to be a little quieter now. At seven o’clock in the morning, children are seen walking on small legs with two braids tied and bags on their backs. On the way home from school in the afternoon, their chirping could not be heard. The small school grounds, the classrooms are crowded. The naughty children are trapped in that house.

The world seems to be the kingdom of that giant now in fairy tales. Children are trapped in all the houses for fear of monsters. To children, coronavirus is like a monster. That’s why little Maisa says, ‘Mother forbade me to go out. There are no giants outside. ‘ My sister’s name is Tultul but she is very brave. He said from the side, ‘Look at this sanitizer. You have to fight with the monster with it. ‘

This is what happened outside the house. But how are the children inside the house? How are they spending their days under house arrest? Children are getting to know more and more about adults in house arrest. The children know why the parents quarrel or when the father gets angry he puts his hand on the mother’s body. The little boy or girl may know that the mother has no money. Because, parents do not give money for hand expenses. The little child hears this too, grandparents are very useless in the world. He found out that his father was very angry when he sent money to his mother-in-law. She hears that the housemaid is doing less work. But he eats more rice.

In a flat house like a pigeon’s nest in Dhaka, one can hear Eghar even if one does not listen to him. As a result, after hearing the child, the uncle says that the grandmother did not teach the mother any manners. So the mother just spoke orally.

These complex images of the world are fragmented but can be horrible for a small child. As was the case with first class student Ramisar (pseudonym). Ramisar has been out of school for several months due to a coronavirus infection. Her family has been worried about Ramisa for months. They live in a small two-room house in a jackfruit orchard. Ramisa’s problem is with her mother and grandmother. My mother is a demon in that way. He has the form of mother or the demon. And Grandma thinks she’s a witch. He’s not really human. Ramisa is terrified of her mother and grandmother. The first thing everyone thought was the imagination of this little Ramisa. The children say nothing. But the situation became serious. Ramisa can’t eat properly. Can’t even sleep. Ramisa was taken to a psychiatrist. What actually happened to Ramisar? Disagreements often arise between mother and grandmother. The mother of a college teacher took classes online during the corona infection. There is no housemaid at home. The quarrel between mother and grandmother over the details of the world escalated. In a fit of rage, the mother told Ramisa that her grandmother was a witch. And grandmother says mother is demonic. Ramisa loves her mother and grandmother. He began to feel helpless in the conflict between the two. In the small mind of the one who is impressed. She is in trauma. Now he has to undergo psychiatric treatment.

It may not be possible to completely save children from these complications of the world. But a little more caution, attention can keep the baby well. Just as a mother bird protects her young from storms by keeping them away, so too can older family members save a baby. And in this case parents have a big role. Many people do not have a good head when they get angry. That is why there is a saying, ‘If you get angry, you lose.’ It is also said that if you can express anger, your mind becomes lighter. So it is important to express anger. It is difficult for the adults in the family to swallow the anger thinking that the children will hear.

It is not possible to escape from this situation by singing ‘Let’s go with you’ like Nachiketa with the child. So the child has to be understood in the same way.

Like the king and queen of fairy tales, real parents do not live happily ever after. It is possible to reduce the crisis a bit if children can understand this fact as they do. Children can be understood to have quarrels with their friends as well as parents. After listening to a friend, the parents feel the same way. Just as the child gets angry with the teacher if he reads too much, so the mother gets angry with the grandmother or the grandmother gets angry with the mother. Again, it can be met. Parents or other family members can add more children to good times after a fight. You can say, look, our quarrel is over. Then maybe the child’s sensitive mind can be a little less stressed.

Tanjir Ahmed, an associate professor in the Department of Psychology at Rajshahi University, also agrees. However, he says the most effective way is to strictly keep the child away from such situations. If necessary, parents or family members need to know the techniques to control anger. It is very necessary in the life of this time. This psychologist mentions another terrible tendency of us during anger or quarrel. “Many of us try to get the child into our group when we are angry,” he said. Mom said Dad is not good. Don’t listen to him. Or Dad said, I’m better than Mom. Listen to me This creates a lasting reaction in children (as in the case of Ramisa). When the quarrel is over, the adult’s relationship is normal, but the child’s memory remains lasting. The psychologist said to be careful about word choice and facial expressions, especially during fights. Too many aggressive words and gestures can frighten a child.

You can’t lie in front of a baby. In this he will also learn ‘It is not a crime to talk about staying out of the house!’ When adults talk, it is important to pay attention to what they are saying in front of the children.

Shubha Zinnia Chowdhury
Prothom Alo, 16 November 2020