Mr. Jamil is 52 years old. Lately his mood is getting a little irritable. The only son lives abroad. He lost his father a few days ago. He feels alone in his buddy. Sometimes people think, ‘If only the old days could be found again’ or ‘How can you stay ahead of your office colleagues’ etc. He does not sleep at night. Lying in bed, he thought, nothing was found in his life, nothing was done. There are daily quarrels with his wife, so intimate time is not spent. The body also seems weak.

This age of Mr. Jamil can be called middle age. As the average life expectancy of people around the world increases, this period is called middle age. During this time a kind of change takes place in the lives of both men and women. Some physical changes occur due to hormones and age, while mental changes also occur due to environmental factors. The American psychologist Elliott Jack first referred to the ‘midlife crisis’ in his 1975 writings. At this age, a kind of tension can start in the life of both men and women. However, crisis does not come in everyone’s life at this age. It comes a little earlier in women’s lives, and a little later in men’s lives. The nature of the crisis is also different for men and women. One study found that about 25 percent of middle-aged people in the United States suffer from a midlife crisis. There is a lot of debate on this issue. A recent study by the University of Alberta in Canada found that there is no such thing as a midlife crisis. However, most studies suggest that it creates a midlife crisis.

A major part of the crisis in a woman’s life during this time is her physiological changes, hormonal variations, signs of age in the body. Anxiety and depression are sometimes added. The level of crisis in middle-aged men is slightly different. During this time he fell into crisis with his workplace, successes and failures, comparisons with others and sex life. Psychologist Harold Cohen, in his article The Mail Midlife Crisis, noted that life is a constant burden. And in the middle of carrying this burden, some people get breathless. That is the midlife crisis. During this time I remember a lot of work, which has not been done, I remember a lot of unattainable, which was not found. Many secrets torment the mind, many latent desires arise.

What are the symptoms of middle age crisis?
* Feeling you have failed more than your peers.
* Suddenly wanting to get something intensely; There is no such house, you have to build a house anyway; There is no car, you have to buy a car anyway.
* Trying to overcome loneliness, choosing some negative path of alternative; Such as intoxication, intimacy with someone of the opposite sex.
* Feeling the urge to get back youth, expressing frustration.
* Expressing dissatisfaction with one’s life and quality of life all the time.
* Catch the rift in the marital life and love of husband and wife.
* Being very careful or completely indifferent towards children.
* Suspicion of people around for no reason.
* Make extra purchases.
* Feeling bored, bored with everything around.
* Engage in inconsistent adventures.
There is no such thing as a midlife crisis, no matter how much one argues about it; The bottom line is, you have to be good at this time. In all aspects of body and mind. And for some as a baby gets older, he or she will outgrow this.

Body care first
Middle age is the age of development of various diseases including heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure. So you need to keep your body healthy at this age through balanced diet, healthy lifestyle and regular health check-ups.

Mind care is also important
There is no reason to feel alone at this age. Spend time with family, friends and colleagues. You have to travel, listen to music, watch movies to keep a good mind; You can even take part in any social work.

Keep the marital relationship healthy
Don’t fall in love with someone who is suddenly in a trance or adventurous, which can lead to a rift in your marriage. Again, do not doubt your spouse unnecessarily. If you feel any problem, talk to each other openly. Maintain regular physical contact to keep the marital relationship healthy. If you feel any difficulty, consult a doctor without feeling ashamed.

Look at the child
Not only sound education but his alertness and dedication too are most required. Give enough time to the child’s career, his problems, etc.

Keep the workplace bright
Love your workplace. Match what you have contributed without counting what you have received. You see, the scale of your success is heavy. And if you sit down to calculate the power, compare yourself with colleagues, you will fall into despair.

Financial management
Calculate income and expenditure. Keep saving if needed. Any future needs; For example, make financial preparations for medical treatment, child education, marriage, etc.

Concentrate on spiritual and social matters
Live morally for the satisfaction of your soul. Obey your respective religious precepts. Take part in social events.

Avoid the negative path
Refrain from getting addicted to drugs, getting involved in immoral relationships. If you think you are involved in a relationship, discuss the matter with your spouse. Discuss how you can get out of this relationship without thinking about what he thought. If necessary, seek the help of an expert.
Middle age, like adolescence or puberty, is also a special time when people learn to recognize themselves differently than before. This period, no matter what the crisis or crisis, if you can control yourself, can start a new turning point in life from middle age. You can fill yourself with brightness and fun. Family and work can become everyone’s favorite follower. So it is not right to call middle age the age of crisis, look at life positively, build middle age as a time of possibility.

Why this crisis

Physical changes
The body does not have the energy as before. Hormonal changes occur. In the case of men, some people’s sexual ability or desire tends to decrease.

Workplace stress
At work, most men at this age are in the middle of their careers. He wants to give his best. But success as well as failure never disappoints him.

Of timeStress
At this age people think their time is running out, which is something to be done quickly. As a result, he feels a kind of pressure inside himself.

Losing parents
In many cases middle-aged parents die. As a result, a kind of emptiness is created in him.

The children go away
Sometimes children go away due to education or marriage etc. As a result, the emptiness increases.

Marital crisis
There can be marital crisis between husband and wife. The intrusion of a third party threatens the marital relationship.

A

Ahmed Helal

13 July 2018
Formula – the Prothom-alo